


Your eyes, your eyes (you make me wanna die)

by zarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Insecure Liam, M/M, Possessive Liam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 20:40:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10395633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarry/pseuds/zarry
Summary: Liam moves to spoon Zayn and kisses his hair before mumbling a soft I love you, hoping that one day he will be brave enough to say it to his face rather than his sleeping form.





	

Liam isn't possessive.

He just doesn't like to share what is his, or well, should be his. It isn't even like he gets jealous when Zayn comes home with a slight limp and bruises decorating his neck and hips, he just thinks that he could do it better, make Zayn feel better than the person he was with the previous night and he often tries to voice his thoughts, make Zayn realise that he doesn't need to get fucked by people who don't even care about him to feel loved when he's right _here_ , for god's sake!

"Jesus, Liam, what the hell are you thinking about again?" Zayn snaps his fingers in front of his face, pulling him out of his thoughts.

Liam is startled for a moment before he grabs Zayn's wrist. "Stop that. That's not just annoying but also very rude."

Zayn rolls his eyes and pulls his hand out of the younger boy’s grip. "S'cuse me, princess. Now tell me what you were thinking about--"

"Before you rudely interrupted me?"

"Yeah, before I _rudely interrupted you._ " Zayn sighs before showing Liam how he apparently looked while thinking. "It was very terrifying."

Liam frowns. "I don't look like _that._ That's just totally exaggerated."

"Whatever, now c'mon. I want to know!" Zayn whines, moving his hands in a very childish manner.

"Ehm, I was thinking about being ... a stripper. Yeah." Pause. "Zayn, I want to be a stripper." He mentally slaps himself and looks down, trying to hide his blush.

He hears Zayn laugh and looks up. "Good luck with that, Li." He says before petting him on the back and leaving the room. Liam sighs. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

 

***

 

"Really, Liam? A stripper?" Louis says before he, Niall and Harry all burst out laughing. "That's pathetic." Niall adds, trying to catch his breath.

They are sitting in Liam's basement, waiting for Zayn and Nick, who are buying beer and food for their usual Friday night movie marathon.

Liam hides his head in his hands and groans. "That was the first thing that came to my mind, okay?" He tells them defensively and glares when Niall laughs at him.

"That says a lot about you as a person." Louis tells him and Harry holds his hand over his mouth to muffle his chuckle.

"Seriously, though, you need to tell Zayn that you're in love with him since you're, like, thirteen, fourteen?" Louis says, suddenly looking very serious.

"It's not that easy!" Liam whines and lays down on one of the couches.

"It can be." Harry says from where he's standing at the TV, looking too much like a dad in the moment for Liam's liking.

He's just about to tell them why he can't tell Zayn the truth, that he can't risk to lose him as a friend, that that could ruin everything, as high school cliché as it sounds, but then the door bursts open and a smiling Zayn walks in, shouting. "I HAVE FOOD AND BEER!"

Nick walks in behind him, his grin matching his before smirking at Liam knowingly to which he just frowns before looking at Zayn, who is hugging Niall, and is momentarily struck with how beautiful he's looking, even when he isn't trying. The older boy is wearing one of Harry's sweaters which is way too big on him and exposes his collarbones and Liam just wants to bite them, hearing him gasp and whimper and-

Then Zayn is interrupting his thoughts, _again_ , by jumping on him and laughing loudly. He groans before wrapping his arms around the older boy’s waist and praying to god that his dick doesn't disappoint him today and stays the way it is right now, which is not hard.

"Oh god, the thinking face again!" He turns his head to look at the others who are by now sitting on the other couch, which they shouldn't be able to fit all in but they somehow _still do_ and laughs. "Did you see his expression? Huh? Isn't it terrifying?" He asks and turns his head to flick Liam's nose, not waiting for an answer from the others.

He mumbles something about him being _a little shit_ to which Zayn just laughs and kisses his cheek. "What were you thinking about this time then, Li, hm?" Zayn teases and moves down his body a bit, trying to get comfortable, obviously planning on staying on top of him, not that Liam is, like, complaining or something.

The others laugh loudly and the raven-haired boy turns his head to them with a confused expression, not understanding what was so funny and Liam glares at them, daring any of them to say something.

Harry, of course, Liam reminds himself to thank him later, changes the subject and asks which movie they want to watch first and successfully distracts the others. He sends him a thankful look, which Harry returns with a nod and puts the disc to _Iron Man 2_ in and starts the movie. Liam relaxes back onto the couch and Zayn lays his head on his chest, hands intertwined with each other and sighs happily.

After another action movie requested by Liam, _Love Actually_ ("Again, Harry?"), SAW _V_ (Zayn laughed at Louis protests. "Don't be such a pussy, Lou."), four large pizzas and lots of beer later, they are all laughing and talking, not exactly drunk but feeling buzzed and warm.

"Let's play a drinking game!" Harry shouts and they all agree. Niall gets up to bring more beer and they all move to sit on the ground. "What are we playing?" Grimmy asks, smiling sheepishly.

"Never have I ever?" Zayn suggests from where he's lying on the floor, having shed the sweater sometime after the third movie, leaving Liam with a million dirty thoughts and the other guys smirking knowingly at him.

"Brilliant idea, Zed." Niall sits down next to the dark-skinned boy and gives everyone a beer, after opening them for them of course.

"I want to start!" Zayn shouts excitedly and sits up. Liam really wants to pull him on his lap but he thinks that it wouldn't be a good idea with him topless and these shorts which are way too short. _Why are they so freakin' short?_

"Never have I ever... had sex in our school." Nick groans and looks around before drinking. Louis after a moment takes a drink, too. Zayn gapes at them and the others laugh at his expression.

"Oh my god, Zayn, stop looking at me like this!" Nick whines and buries his head in Louis' neck who is literally _giggling_.

He stares at them for a moment longer before shrieking, realization washing over his face before he starts pointing at them with his finger. "YOU BOTH FUCKED IN THAT SUPPLY CLOSET THAT OTHER DAY! I KNEW IT! HOW CAN I EVER LOOK AT YOU BOTH AGAIN?!"

"You're so rude, Zayn. Stop pointing at them like that." Liam says and grabs his hand, which he was still using to point at them. He just sticks his tongue out at him and laughs, hand still in his.

"M'not rude." He mumbles, crawling on the taller boy's lap and putting his head on his shoulder. Liam makes a face at his statement. The smaller boy turns his head to the others. "Whatever, c'mon, let's continue."

They play for a good while, embarrassing statements and all involved, but after about thirteen scenarios later they're drunk and sleepy and Zayn already fell asleep in Liam's lap so they stop and agree that sleep is the best option now.

Liam and Zayn are sleeping on one couch and Nick and Louis are sleeping on the other, while Niall and Harry are sleeping on the floor, looking way too comfortable for where they are sleeping.

Liam moves to spoon Zayn and kisses his hair before mumbling a soft _I love you,_ hoping that one day he will be brave enough to say it to his face rather than his sleeping form.

 

***

 

"I'M GONNA POP SOME TAGS-"

"Zayn, stop."

"ONLY GOT TWENTY DOLLARS IN MY POCKETS-"

"Oh my god."

"I-I-I'M PULLING, LOOKING FOR A COME-UP-"

"Seriously?"

"THIS IS FREAKING AWESO-" Grimmy claps his hand over Zayn's mouth, cutting him off and the others cheer loudly.

They are all in the record shop where Zayn works and really, he doesn't actually work, he just sits there and scolds people for their bad music taste. Liam is still surprised that they didn't fire him already but then he thinks about the way the owners look at Zayn and yeah, they won't fire him anytime soon, not with the way he looks.

Today, though, the others all piled on the tiny couch there to annoy Zayn, not having anything else to do, but it really is the opposite, because Zayn put on Macklemore's record, singing along loudly for the last half hour until Nick, thank god, decided that it was enough.

Zayn pulls out of Nick's rather vice like grip and glares at him before turning to Liam and crossing his arms over his chest, huffing. "And you said I was rude." He mutters and turns back to look at Nick, who is leaning against a wall and smirks. "Because Nicolas here-"

"You know my name is _not_ Nicolas." Nick groans.

"-is just as rude as I am." He laughs and smacks him on his arm after he makes a face at him.

"Your name is not short for Nicolas?!" Niall gasps and stands up, a genuinely shocked expression on his face and the others laugh.

"You seriously thought his name was -- _Nicolas_?" Harry says between laughs and Niall's cheeks turn a bright red. He sits back down next to Louis who just ruffles his hair and tells him that he's an idiot.

Nick looks a little bit offended and huffs, muttering some, admittedly very creative, curses at them which just makes the others laugh even harder. "Pricks."

But then Nick remembers what Zayn said and they get into an argument. Nothing bad of course, but, like, the usual. Liam and the others just watch fondly and make bets on who wins their little argument. Liam (of course) and Louis bet on Zayn while the others bet on Grimmy. ("Grimmy is going to win, once started, no one can shut that boy up, not even Zayn.")

Zayn wins though and Nick just looks annoyed while he smiles smugly.

"I swear, Louis, he got that sass from you." Nick mutters and Louis laughs.

"I know." He looks so proud of himself that Nick rolls his eyes while the others laugh.

Zayn walks over to Nick and hugs him then, before kissing his cheek. "Don't be such a sour loser. I still love you lots."

His glare softens then and he smiles down at Zayn, before hugging him back. "I love you too, you little fuck." He meets Liam's eye then, who is desperately trying to suppress his jealousy and says, "I know someone who loves you more than I do, though."

Liam's eyes widen and everyone turns to look at him, except Zayn who is looking up at Nick with an unreadable expression. "Oh yeah?" He cocks an eyebrow, pulling away.

Nick just laughs and ruffles his hair before pointing at Liam, who is bright red at this point, and waggles his eyebrows at the raven-haired boy. Zayn slaps his arm and opens his mouth to speak when the doorbell rings, signalling that someone entered the shop and he closes his mouth then and with one last look at Liam, he leaves to serve the customer. 

Liam sighs in relief and reminds himself to punch Nick for that stupid stunt later but now he just shoots him and the others, who are _still laughing_ , a glare. He definitely needs new friends.

"Sorry, man, that was a dick move." Harry says then, obviously feeling guilty for laughing at him.

Liam nods, and decides that maybe Harry can stay.

 

***

 

"Are you absolutely mental, Nick Grimshaw?" Liam turns to look at Nick with the angriest expression he can muster. They are back in Liam's basement, being thrown out by Zayn's boss after Niall accidently spilled coke on a whole stack of new records.

The older boy just shrugs innocently. "Just trying to help you tell Zayn how you feel, god knows you won't."

"I told you already that it's-"

"- _not that easy_." They finish for him together and he looks at them for a moment before sighing.

"Exactly."

They chuckle briefly before Niall frowns at him.

"Liam, are you really that obvious?" The blond asks him and then looks at the others for a moment, whose expressions match his, before his gaze wanders back to him. "Don't you realise that Zayn is just as gone for you?"

Liam makes a face at him. "Yeah, sure. Whatever." He shakes his head and the others, thank god, drop the subject. _Hopeless._

And later, when Liam is lying in bed, unable to sleep, Niall's words are still swirling in his head.

_Don't you realise that Zayn is just as gone for you?_

It isn't possible, Liam reasons. Zayn would never fall for someone like him. He's too beautiful and smart for him, he deserves someone who can give him more than he ever could.

But then there's this little voice in his head that screams at him that _Zayn doesn't care about stuff like that, he isn't shallow, he is someone genuine, he loves you for yourself - flaws and everything included,_ but he just ignores it. He knows that Zayn isn't shallow and that he doesn't care about stuff like that, he knows, but he is so deep in his self-conscious cloud that he can't think straight, that he just searches for reasons for Zayn not to fall for him.

And no matter how often the lads tell him that he's talking nonsense, he just can't believe them, like his brain is physically forcing him to think the way he does.

It's sad, really.

 

***

 

"Liam, this needs to stop." Nick tells him one day, looking mostly annoyed but also slightly worried.

Liam looks up with an unreadable expression. "What needs to stop?"

"You. For three weeks all you did is sit here, in this basement, sulk and watch some stupid show. Zayn came to me yesterday, he was crying, man. Said you started acting really weird and then started distancing yourself from him. He's really worried and scared that he did something wrong and you started hating him. You seriously need to get your shit together." 

Liam doesn't say anything, speechless and shocked. Zayn thinks he started hating him? _Fuck._

"Listen, Li, I love you, a lot, okay? But sometimes you're such an idiot and you don't understand what ruin you leave behind when you do certain things. I know you don't want to accept the fact that Zayn likes you back, no matter how often we assure you that he does, but think about it, would it hurt him as much as it does that you distanced yourself if he wasn't feeling more than friendship. Look at Harry, Louis, Niall or me, we're all your friends too but none of us were as upset as Zayn. Of course we were a little bit mad at you, because honestly, you're acting like a complete asshole but you get the point. Think about it." Nick says and leaves the basement, leaving Liam alone.

He does think about it, a lot actually but his mind is still in a conflict with itself. Grimmy's words get in a battle with his thoughts but of course they can't win. Liam's self-conscious thoughts are stronger so his words do little to fight them but they make him get his hopes up, it's not much but it is something and Liam can't help but feel confused.

After two hours of staring at the wall opposite him and thinking, he chooses to call Niall. He doesn't want to think about it anymore, at least not right now.

_"'Sup, Li?"_

"Wanna get smashed tonight?"

_"Meet me at the bar in 20."_

 

***

 

Liam is drunk.

Totally wasted, and Niall is nowhere to be found. They started drinking as soon as they arrived and now, he just feels good but also really lonely, none of the people here calling his interest, all the girls fake and all the men kind of creepy and ugly. It's nearly 2 A.M. and he wants to go home, sleep sounding like a really good thing right now. He pulls out his phone and without thinking twice, he calls the first person that comes to his mind.

_"Liam, what the fuck, man? Why are you calling me at this ungodly hour? Is everything okay?"_

"Zayn? Zayn, I-I'm at the bar, alone-" Hiccup. "Come here. Niall is gone. Please?"

For a moment he hears nothing before Zayn speaks up. _"I-Yeah, okay. I'll be there in 10. Can you go out and wait there for me?"_

"I can do that! I definitely can do that. I'm doing that-" He slurs and hears Zayn sigh.

_"Liam."_

The younger boy laughs loudly. "Sorry. Thank you, Zaynie."

"I'll be there soon, don't do anything stupid, okay?"

"Yes, darliiing." He giggles before ending the call and moving to the entrance. He goes out and the cold air has him shivering. He leans on one of the walls of the building before his legs give out and he slides down the wall until he's sitting. Some people, who are also leaving the bar, are looking at him strangely and Liam looks back at them with an equally strange look, chuckling every time one of them looks away in embarrassment.

After a few minutes, he sees Zayn's car pull up and he stands up, a little too fast apparently, because his head spins and he has to hold on the wall to steady himself, but then he sees Zayn getting out of the car and walking towards him. He's only in his pyjamas and his hair is messy, eyes tired and face pale and he feels guilty because he obviously woke him up from sleep.

But he can't dwell on that thought for long because Zayn is suddenly standing in front of him. He reaches out and falls forward slightly, pulling him in a hug. He sighs against his chest and he nuzzles his head in the smaller boys’ neck, inhaling the sweet scent of roses that seems to always cling to Zayn.

They pull apart and Liam sways slightly, still having trouble with _gravity._ He chuckles and realises then that neither of them said something yet.

"Thank you." His head is pounding and the words come out rough and not at all how he wanted them to sound.

"Shut up, Liam. Let's go home, yeah?" The older boy says softly. He just nods and Zayn takes his hand, intertwining their fingers with each other before slowly walking towards his car. He helps the younger boy to get in the car and buckle his seatbelt before doing the same with himself and starting the car.

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta-read. English is not my native language, so excuse any mistakes.  
> I will update weekly. Hopefully. No promises made.


End file.
